Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A Woman On Her Own

A WOMAN ON MY OWN

I went to work in ‘fifty three
At the local Daily News
To prove to Mom that I could be
A woman on my own.
An independent seventeen,
I wrote obits, and wedding notes –
I found it fun to telephone
For quotes to use in articles –
On who went where and what they did.



No casual clothes for working gals in 1953 –
My car hop friends were envious
That I dressed up for work.
I felt that I was all grown up.
Mom was
Unconvinced.



I went to work in ‘fifty five – a summer job
Out of town to prove to Mom
That I was grown
A woman on my own.
We sublet a flat, Leah and Elaine and I.
I worked at a Boston brokerage.
My boss was Mildred Hatch.
I worked with Ginny HaggartyAnd Helen Jack from Dorcester
My age, she was engaged to wed
A Cambridge man; her parents feared
She’d move away from Dorcester. 

I learned the Boston dialect –
A milkshake is a frappe, a spa -
A corner store, where tonic is a coke.
That summer my romance broke up
Those Boston girls - they saw me through –
The helped me laugh, and schemed with me
To get him back. It didn’t work.
When I went home to tell my mom how grown I was
Mom was
Unimpressed.

Then I grew up and had three kids and went to work – a full time job
From 8 to 5, two blocks away. We all came home for lunch.
A secretary at a church - whoever would have thought back then
That typewriters and secretaries would soon be obsolete.
I went to work to subsidize the children’s college years
And give those kids a chance to go
To school in a different town, and maybe get a summer job
Like mine had been. They did.

We moved once more – Move number ten
I went to college once again
Became a City Planner then,
Got “Planning Certified”
Became “Kay B – AICP”
And after working twenty years
Retired, with full benefits –
A woman on her own
With better things to do.
If Mom had lived, I know
She would
Approve.

Friday, January 22, 2010

I have been so out of touch. I have just reseen Julie and Julia and am reinspired to blog.


Pick Up Your Bed and Walk

I am no longer in casts, the walker has been stowed away. I’m thinking of sending the boots to Haiti if I can figure a way. I have dusted off right shoes and my car keys. I am still slow, but walking. During my convalescence I have been writing poems which I’ll post. As I go along. My poems are no longer focused on broken legs or other malfunctioning parts.

It is my desire to put together things on the blog that I will later include in a second book. I am excited about the prospect. The first book was well received by lots of people and that has encouraged me. If I keep writing, I may connect with people via the blog, and that would be wonderful. I don’t know quite how to do that, but I’ll keep trying.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Wouldn't Do That

"I would not do that," Mary Jessie said.
She's said that many times over many years.
She said that as I tried to comfort her
About the friend who never calls -
The kids who rarely help -
About the friend who hurt the feelings
of another friend.
I would not do that, Mary Jessie said.

"Of course I forgave her, told her so," she said,
"but even then I knew I would not be like that,
I would not fail to see a friend who's sick
I would not fail to help my mom
Whenever I was asked. I never would do that.
I would not borrow money, and neglect to pay it back
There are some things that I would never do," she said.

Me, I always try to understand.
I know I do not know just how it feels
to have another life,
Another life experience.
Me, I'm never sure just what I'd do
If I were someone else.

Yet even as I try to understand
To have compassion, and some tolerance,
Not to judge what isn't mine to judge
I hear this voice deep inside me say,
Me, I wouldn't do that. No. Not me.
As another voice asks,
Oh, really? Are you sure?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Meditation

If I call to Heaven and an angel answers me,
Will I be scared? You bet!
If I create a work of art
A painting that was never there before -
A poem -
Is it not of necessity less -
Than that which it was meant to represent?

Because no one can create all the facets
Possibilities, extensions,
Of anything
And then add on – not just mine -
But your imaginings, and that man's over there,
Or see what that child sees,
It must be less – my poem, my painting
Still I do not make that object less
Just by my effort.

If the angel isn't there, I don't care
Just so long as I think it is
And see my answer, hear my answer, feel it -
That's enough.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Thoughts on Rilke

If I call to Heaven and an angel answers me,
Will I be scared? You bet!

If I create a work of art
A painting that was never there before -
A poem -
Is it not of necessity less -
Than that which it was meant to represent?

No one can create all the facets
Possibilities, extensions, emotions,
Of anything -
And then add on – not just mine -
But your imaginings, and that man's over there,
Or see just what that child sees
When gazing at that reality
In dimensions, from angles
I cannot portray.
It must be less – my poem, my painting
Than the reality it draws upon
And at the same time more
Because it frees imagination,
Not just mine,
But yours.

If the angel isn't there, I don't care
Just so long as I think it is
And see my answer, hear my answer, feel it -
That's enough.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Christmas 1940


What makes this season between Thanksgiving and Christmas distinctive one year as opposed to all the other years is when the unexpected happens, when plans and traditions have to be scrapped. In the end that Christmas is often special and, yes, memorable. With two broken legs, it is expected that this Christmas will be one of those unpredictable ones. And it brings to my memory another unpredictable Christmas.

In September of 1940 my father hemorrhaged from his lungs.. I was four and my sister was six. The country was still in a depression, and money was tight. Dad was an intense young man who had spent long hours making his way in the corporate world.

The hemorrhage changed everything in an instant. The diagnosis was tuberculosis which had attacked my father in a vulnerable spot, causing the hemorrhage. The doctor felt this was fortunate, inasmuch as it led to the discovery of the disease at a relatively early stage. However, tuberculosis was tuberculosis and at that time there were no cures. This was before there were drugs to treat the disease. The treatment then was food, bed-rest, sun, often relegation to a sanatorium. For many people TB was a death sentence.

Later in the day after the hemorrhage the family gathered its resources. George and Marjorie, Mother's brother and his wife, arrived, and my grandmother, whom we called Minna. Uncle Don and Aunt Jane, not relatives but friends, came. I have no idea who else came, but there was a lot of activity which I recall as being confusing.

There were decisions made in those first few days, and I have no idea how they were made or what went into them, but my parents established a pattern. They were not going to be defeated. They were going to make this altered situation work. The family would remain intact. And, where they could, they would enjoy the process.

First, Dad would get to stay home. He would be confined to his room. His dishes would be boiled. We were not allowed beyond the door to his room – but we could go that far. During the months of his recuperation, he was still very much an involved father.

The doctor came frequently and checked up on us. Ann and I were repeatedly tested (the scratch test). I would hide when Dr. Bartlett came, but he managed to find me in whatever closet I was secreted, and administer the test.

Minna came to stay. I think for a while there were nurses, and other help, but if there were, I don't think they were there long. Minna was Mother's support and confidante. She was convinced Dad would recover. Her optimism was catching. The trays that went up to my father were elegant – little touches, cloth napkins, covers over the plates.

The owner of my father's company offered to keep him on half salary during his recovery. What my parents didn't know at the time is my father would have to pay that half salary back by working at half salary another year when he returned to work. Money during the year of my father's TB was tight, and I'm sure it was a worry. My parents were survivors, and what fear they had that year they did not transmit to us. Cutting back became almost a game.

Mother and Dad played board games and cards, and listened to the radio together. Dad listened to football games, and charted them using a red and blue pencil. Their friends and neighbors gathered around. There were visits and gifts, often in forms of food. Someone brought Dad a “Dutch wife”, a pillow to place under his knees. I hid it. Dad did not need another wife, even a cloth one. Sometimes friends and neighbors took Ann or me for an outing. Uncle Don, who worked with Dad, came every day on his way from work.

Ann and I were part of the recovery plan. We were expected to behave, and I think Ann did. We both had birthdays that fall. I think we both had birthday parties. I don't remember mine, but I do remember Ann's. That was when I found that if you chew a sterling silver spoon, you can actually change its shape. When the crime was discovered, I blamed Nancy Renkinberger, because I knew my mother didn't like her much anyway. It took years before the Statute of Limitations would allow me to confess. Nancy wasn't invited back.

With the approach of Christmas, Dad was given permission to come downstairs for the first time. He had his choice of coming down for dinner or earlier, for the opening of gifts. He chose to be there for the gifts.

Friends who probably would not have given us Christmas presents in ordinary circumstances did that year. Ella Hume, across the street, gave us each hand painted soldiers that she had painted herself. She also gave us hand painted wooden ornaments, some of which I still have and treasure.

The picture I have carried of that Christmas is the family listening to a recording of Peter and the Wolf. I can see my father in his chair, listening with us. He is wearing his Christmas robe. Mother is beside him. Ann and I were acting out the parts. We circled the dining room table, being hunters, carrying the wolf, with the duck inside, to the zoo.


Then Dad went back upstairs, and his dinner, as usual, was served to him on a tray. We knew he would be down again. It would not be long.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Emulation

In junior high in the late 40’s, there was in me a consistent conflict between who I thought I was and who I thought I should be.  So I went about the business of inventing myself. I dressed like Mary, laughed like Kathleen, tied my thick curly hair in a pony tail like Nancy’s, ignoring the fact that her hair was straight and much better suited to a pony tail.

Sometimes I would hear something, see something, and tell myself, “I can do that, if I only try hard enough.”  I watched Esther Williams swim. She was graceful, with a dazzling smile as she languorously stretched her arms in a backstroke.  If water got in her mouth, she gently blew it out. 



I grew up on Lake Michigan, with waves and undertow, not suited to languorously backstroking and blowing.  Nevertheless I tried.  Too often there was so much water in my mouth that I resembled a whale spouting rather than Esther blowing.  Diving like Esther was out of the question.  There aren’t diving boards on Lake Michigan, and if there were, my instinctive fear of jumping to my death kept me off them.

One day, before junior choir, I heard a friend of my mother’s, Peggy McKee, practicing.  She was on vacation from New York, where she sang professionally.  Her voice was rich, warm, expressive.  Listening to her, I was transported. Could I sing like that?  Could I make people feel the way I felt listening to her? 

Why not?  She had to start somewhere. I practiced.  I belted out Old Man River.  (I knew the words.)  I decided I was a contralto, like Peggy.  My sister, Ann, held her ears, and begged me to shut up.

We had one bathroom, shared by four people.  The bathtub had claw feet (when claw footed bathtubs were not stylish), and no shower.  Hair washing was done in the bathroom sink with countless cups of water poured over my head.  I would gaze in the mirror, arranging my soapy hair in the style of Marie Antoinette, and sing rising scales.  Well, almost scales.  They got a little flat in the upper reaches.  I would imagine myself living in Manhattan, catching a cab for rehearsals, dressing in elaborate costumes, being adored.


“Peggy doesn’t sing at the Met,” my mother told me.  “She sings professionally at big Manhattan churches.”

“She’s good enough to sing at the Met,” I said, starting another trill.

“Very few people are good enough to sing at the Met,” Mother said.  “Kay, it is possible to admire someone, without having to compete with them.  You can love good singing, and still not be able to hold a tune.”

Eventually, with a lot of family pressure, my singing career ended.  Sometime later I took up the cello. 

While at a music camp I heard Mary Ellen playing Malaguania on the piano.  Wow.  I had never heard the piano sound like that.  Could I do that?  If I memorized it? And practiced hours every day?  Could I play just one piece like that?  Well, that’s another story.



Saturday, November 14, 2009

Tomorrow

My grandkids wonder what will happen
When we're gone -
Is there Heaven, is there Hell
Will we come back someday as someone else?
I wonder too, but not for long. I say
“If I'm so busy worrying and stewing
Over what it isn't ours to know
What is going on right now that I might miss?”

And God, the longer that I live
The more I see and learn, the less I know
Or care about who God is or not.
I know that when I pray I feel heard.
When I'm afraid I know I'm not alone
That courage comes to me from somewhere else
Sometimes I say what I hadn't thought before.

Today I watched fall fattened, well-furred squirrels
In our back yard.
They sprang and climbed and flew from tree to tree
First one in front and then they'd turn
And go the other way; they danced and spun
Their gray flag tails beckoning each other,
As they flew along from rock to tree to rock.

Do these gray squirrels cogitate on what's ahead for them?
No. They fly, then dive, are here, then over there
And up then down,
They are absolutely now just where they are,
One second more the squirrels are somewhere else.

I look around my world, at squirrels, and folks I love,
And people I don't know, who smile at me,
And I say, Thank you God. I have no need to know
Just who God is, or whats ahead for me.



Tuesday, November 10, 2009

confession

 
As I’m getting more “mature”
 I can admit to certain things
I lied about before – Like this –
I never learned to ride a bike.
In my young life I hid that fact,
Would make excuses not to go
On bicycle excursions.

I have the penmanship, not of a doctor, no,
Far worse – My writing’s not too unlike
A boy in the second grade, or third.
It is absurd when my offspring say
It’s my fault that they’re handicapped
By the hand they got from me.
I tell them, “Well, then, type.”

The worst I guess, I must confess
Is sometimes when I read a book
I read the ending first.

Our three kids are grownups now
With children of their own.
That doesn’t mean we’re less concerned
Than when those three of ours were new!
If truth be told, I must admit
It worries me we cannot read
The unlived pages of their lives.

Nor can we wrap the grandkids up
In bubble wrap so they won’t break
Their bones or hearts along the way.

Life's a book that can't be read
From back to front.

Monday, November 9, 2009

13 Ways of Looking at a Broken Leg

One
Ouch

Two
Six strong and strapping EMT's
Carry me down the outside steps
Welcome heroes and I owe them
Cookies, Station One and Station Three
When I am whole again.

Three
Two legs casted, sticking out
When they operated, couldn't they
Have done a pedicure?

Four
I am useless, I can't walk
Can't run out and get something,
Can't lean down, pick up something
I have to ask for help.

Five
I have a wheelchair, it's black
And scarey, too, says Blue the cat.
Five other folks came home with me.
That's scarey, too, says Blue.

Six
Two legs casted, sticking out
I can't make corners in our house.
Parking's never been my strength
I've got a lot to learn.

Seven
My chief caregiver's the best
The guy I married can never rest
He picks up this and gets me that
And don't forget to feed the cat
My poor Fred will celebrate
When my two cast legs ain't cast no more!

Eight
Two legs casted, sticking out
One is gray and wears a boot
(Although I'm told it can bear no weight
for another two months from now).
The other's red with matching toes
They are getting in my way.

Nine
Two legs casted, sticking out
Now and then bump into things
They sometimes seem to me
To be no part of me.

Ten
Two legs casted, sticking out
But if you take me knees to head
The rest of me is just the way
It always was, says Fred

Eleven
Inside my two well casted legs
If one could look inside,
Not flesh and bone, but screws and nails
And screens and plates in there.
My doctor is a carpenter.

Twelve
Two cast legs upon the bed
And one is gray, the other red
And each one weights 200 pounds
At least.

Thirteen
I should enjoy my two cast legs
They get me out of lots of stuff
How can I entertain Book Club
Or donate blood, or clean the house
With both my legs encased in casts?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Coming Home Broken
or An Update on Cleaning for the Cleaner

The best laid plans go awry. After I got my book printed, the next great project was cleaning my house enough to have a cleaning person do it. Instead, I fell on my front porch and broke the foot on one leg and the ankle bones (that's right, two bones) on the other.

Usually when you know you are going to have lots of visitors, Thanksgiving,Christmas, a party, you have days and days to prepare. When you break your legs all at once the game is over. People are coming to your house, wanting to help in any way they can, and I had no time to pretend to be the organized woman I'm not. Worse than that, we lowered our bed to make it wheelchair height, and that wonderful storage spot for boxes of out of season clothes and also often the storage place for a frightened cat, was gone. Not only that, all those other neat little storage places for souvenirs and junk we don't know what to do with in the bedroom were gone as well. The room had to be made wheelchair accessible, and I wasn't around to make it happen.

The big day arrived Saturday. Elizabeth and her husband, Gregory, and my neighbor, Ro, were here as we proudly drove up. They stood by and cheered as I gracefully skidded across the transfer board from car seat to wheelchair. Graceful could be an exaggeration. It is kind of a skid, a swivel, a lift, and grunt, and a lot of talking to myself, “lean forward, lean forward.” Greg and Fred wheeled me up the drive, across the lawn, down the dirt track beside the house, across the ditch newly dug by Matt, up the two ramps constructed by Fred and my son-in-law, Joe, onto the back deck and into the house.

Judy arrived with dinner, and she and Ro arranged the kitchen, Elizabeth and Gregory settled me inside, the across the street neighbors came to welcome me home, and I had had absolutely no time to clean for all those guests who, in fact, cleaned for me.

So here I am, home, with a lot of help from very many friends. And, guess what, I think I am as ready as I'll ever be for that house cleaner to come in.

I do not recommend this particular method of cleaning for the cleaner.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

going home

Just to let everyone know I'm going home on Saturday.  For the next couple of months I will be sliding on a board and swivelling on my left heel, the only part of the lower me able to bear weight.  The plan is I shall become phenominally strongin my upper body, and my swivel movements will be of such grace that when I am repaired I will be a sensation on any dance floor.

But the house cleaning preparation that I talked about before got interrupted.  Alas poor Fred.  Lots of people I hope will be coming to see me, will notice - why  so many magazines?  I can't imagine why this is there - etc.    However, there is a good twist to everything.  My house when I get home will be filled with the wonderful cards and flowers I have received.  And there is hope - Claudia is coming Wednesday, ready  or not! 

And I have Blue to blame.  That cat!  When he isn't busy calling the SPCA because we've put him on an unwelcome diet, complaining about the neglect  since I broke my legs, he's been running around the house putting everything in the wrong place.  He has been opening drawers, spreading papers, hiding things.  We thought at least he could clean the kitchen, but no.  He didn't even do his own litter box!  Fred did that.  He offered to help with the laundry.  So Fred took it out of the dryer and Blue hopped right up and said he would do the folding later, but it was nap time.  Of course, because he'd been so busy messing things up.  That cat.  So how could Fred fold the warm laundry with a sleeping cat on top?  It is a good thing I'm coming home!

Monday, October 26, 2009

BROKEN

Walking down stones
Buried in cement
Wearing new rubber soled shoes
Walking down steps trod
Seven million
Six hundred sixty eight thousand
Nine hundred twenty four
Times before.
A slip, a slide, a twist
The rubber soled shoes held firm
On the hard concrete
When the feet
Inside the shoes
Did not.

Sirens alert the neighborhood
To tell the tale of feet that moved
When shoes did not
Two feet now encased in casts
No more shoes for the next two months
Shall I tell them when they ask -
I did it skateboarding?.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Cleaning by Kay

I had two projects I meant to do this month. The first was to put the things I’ve written into a book and sell it as a fund raiser for the church. I had a deadline. October 17 there is an auction. Yesterday I picked up the book – 100 copies – illustrated! – from the printer. Tomorrow is the auction.

The other project I outlined is much more difficult than writing and putting together a book. I wanted to clean my house sufficient to hire a housecleaner. My progress here has not been so fast. My excuse, working on the book. So I’ve been putting together deadlines. I work much better with a deadline. And I’ve been moving that deadline up.


The first deadline I tied together with the auction (see above!) We’re auctioning a St. Pat’s dinner – March 17. Surely I can clean my house in time for that. The problem with that is it gives me much too much time in which to procrastinate.


February we are hosts to a dinner party for ten people, some of whom I don’t know well, again from the church. That set the cleaning deadline up, but still it leaves way too much time for us to mess things up before we clean them up.


Christmas – well that’s progress but my suspicion is that Christmas won’t be here.

So I invited the children and their families for Thanksgiving. Now I’m getting a little nervous because Thanksgiving is just a little over a month away, and when the family comes there’s not a room I can leave out.

I moved the deadline up again, and invited the children for our anniversary, November 8. I feel I’m getting realistic, now.

Today I invited the knitting group to meet here in two weeks. I have the deadline I have craved. Now that the book is done I can really get to work.

I walk around my house with an advertisement that tells me what a cleaning service would do in every room. I use it as a “to do” list. They talk of cleaning things like blinds, moving furniture, doing the whole job up right. This may get exciting. I wonder what I’ll find that I never knew I lost.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Generations


A group of grown up, grey haired folk
Grizzled geezers, grandmoms and pops
Are gathered - grouped to cogitate –
They congregate to find a way
Of reaching modern youth.



These old folks sit in the youth group’s hall.
They read the writing on the walls.
Between the stenciled hands and feet
The kids have written names and dates:
“Karen, Class of Twenty Ten”
“Jethro, two thousand three.”

This room has odors all its own
Of sleeping bags, of old popped corn,
Honeysuckle by the door,
The summer scent of fresh cut grass.
The old folks, silent, contemplate
How their own youth had slipped away…

They seem to hear those drawn-on walls
Ghostlike, whisper whimsically –
“Your parents, too, despised your clothes,
Thought you outrageous, wild, and dumb –
Would not succeed in anything –
And look how far you’ve come!”






Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fallen Deer

A deer fell in our yard the other day,
A doe, she tripped upon a rock,
She staggered down into the street
And fell, and then rose on wobbly legs
And crossed the street. The doe lay down
Beside the road, her head and ears were up
She listened, and she watched.

Raoul was working in a yard nearby.
He saw the doe fall, also saw her fawn
Who ran away.
My husband Fred came home,
The deer was still reclined
Beside the road. He called the vet who said
Call animal control. They’ll help the deer.
Raoul had called as well.

Fred stood and watched beside the road,
He set a barrier so cars would not speed by
And spook the resting deer.
The two men waited for the doe to rise
And disappear into the trees and lawns.
They waited for her fawn to reappear.

Animal control, it seems, knows only to destroy living things
That lay perhaps in pain beside the road.
They did not question how the doe was hurt
Or whether, given time, she might get up
And find her fleeing fawn.
Get out, he said, and I will put her down.
No argument would stay his course.
A single shot. The doe was gone.

We set out manna for the fawn
Food recommended for an orphaned deer
Three days gone by, the fawn appeared
Alone, with faded spots, it looked across the road
To where its mother died, and then it left.
The deer food stayed untouched.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Concrete Waterfall

The drowsy worker
By the concrete waterfall
Dreaming of rainbows


The man lies in the shadow of his truck
A yellow hard hat on the ground beside him,
His shirt hangs listless on a branch above,
He looks inside himself and sees
The waterfall to come.

He nearly feels the spray of splashing water
Sees it leaping down his unbuilt path
Sees it jumping over boulders, laughing
Crystal droplets singing as they fall.

He sees the water split by beams of sun
He imagines arcs of color through the mist.
He glories in the rainbow yet to be
Created by the waterfall he’s building.

In his mind he leans to catch the drops
Bathe his skin in the magic of the spray
He’d seize the rainbow, but as his hand shoots out
The rainbow isn’t there.

He wonders if he is himself a rainbow
Is his life an optical illusion?
Is he a glorious splash of color
That in time will simply disappear?

He stands, puts on his hat, spits out the grass.
He rises to complete his waterfall.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Samsara


A stray cat wandered into our yard and was made unwelcome by our cat, Blue. Tattered and pathetic, we took her to the vet, hoping that she had been implanted with a chip. She was far too friendly for a feral cat, we thought. We’d tried a game of ping pong at our table on the patio, and this cat loved the game, hopping with the ball from side to side.  She was a cat who liked people in her life.

She was infested by fleas, her ribs clearly seen beneath her fur. So we treated the fleas, and treated the hunger and the thirst, and since the day was very hot, we let her sleep in our guest bath, away from our cat, Blue, who liked her not at all. We posted signs around the neighborhood – had any person lost a friendly yellow cat? No one called.

I talked to my friend, Jean. I told her if she took the cat we’d more than gladly help to pay for any alterations. Jean said no, she had friend who was a vet. She’d take care of that herself. I brought the yellow cat to Jean at a meeting, which the cat enjoyed. Not happy in her carrier, she befriended each one there, but seemed to know instinctively that Jean was hers. This cat was smart.

Jean has studied Buddhism, and taught herself Tibetan. She recognized at once that this stray cat was of a royal ancient god-like lineage, and named the cat Samsara, the Tibetan word for “restless spirit”, a name well suited to the orange cat.
At her initial pre-op visit to the vet, it was discovered Samsara was a he, who had been fixed before.

Samsara, Sammy now, had found himself the home and friend that suited him. He considers he and Jean have equal rights around his house. His food is carefully prepared for him and set out on demand. When Sam is good and well behaved, the cat belongs to Jean. But when he bites, wakes up at three, or brings her gifts of snakes or mice, she refers to him as Kay’s.

I don’t know how many lives he’s used, but the one he’s living now is fine with him, he says.





Sunday, October 4, 2009

L'Chayim: To Life

The small stream dances, winding through
And in and out between the rocks,
Catching sparkles from the sun,
Playing harmony to songs
Of bugs and birds along its banks -

It carries cold of melted snow
To nurseries of fish and frog.
It moves leaves and reeds along its banks.
It waters bushes, quenches thirsts
Of land-born life.

It meaders for a bit, and curves,
And then lays quietly in ponds
Before it leaps and dances out,
Cavoting around rocks and stumps
Continuing its journey to the sea.

Above the stream disaster crawls
Metal yellow dinosaurs
Rip up the soil, tear down the hills -
Each day they roar across the fields
Destroying what was always there.

Rock strewn meadows, oaks and grass
Will be replaced by velvet lawns
Fed food that's made by Dow, not deer,
Which washed into the brook will choke and
Kill the life that flowed below -
Until
The water slows
The laughter
Stops.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Seventh Grade Blues

I’M SO EMBARRESSED or

THAT 7TH GRADE FEELING

In 7th grade I was all arms and legs-
Knocking into things, my socks slipped down
Into my shoes, my blouse untucked
My hair declaring independence from any sense of place –
I wore the clothes my mother liked.
I didn’t think I fit, so sure was I
That everybody noticed what I wore
And each dumb thing I said.

I went to church last Sunday, just a little late
The congregation watched as we walked down
To sit in front. The other seats were taken
By better folk whose lives are organized
And neat. I sang the hymns my best, a bit off key,
My husband said, but loud.

We stayed for coffee after church.
I stood alone with coffee in my hand
The black stockings I had worn looked very blue.
Should not have worn a skirt!
My hair is standing quite on end today
Great white wires going every way.
If someone comes to chat, what will I say?
The cookie that I’m holding’s shedding crumbs.

Helen came, removed a cat hair from my sleeve
And asked me how I was. I’m fine, I said,
And so is Fred. We talked of her and me and church
Til Judy joined us, and Sue, and Natalie
Who had surgery a week ago. It turned out well.

I’m all grown up from 7th grade, I think
Until the next time when I stand alone, with Styrofoam
Of coffee in my hand.